We often hear that if you just “push through” with grit, success—and happiness—will follow. But is that really true?
The truth is, grit and happiness aren’t linked in the way most stories, movies, or most cultures suggest. Happiness isn’t the pot of gold waiting at the end of the perseverance rainbow. It’s not a prize handed out after years of hard work.
Grit is powerful. It gets you through challenges. But without purpose, joy, and alignment, grit can quickly become endless grinding with little fulfillment.
Becoming the world’s first licensed pilot without arms taught me a lesson no one talks about—grit alone isn’t enough to make you happy. It’s what you attach that grit to—your deeper “why”—that transforms effort into true, lasting fulfillment.
We glorify hustle culture, endurance, and “never giving up.” Let’s be honest, few achievements would have been realized without it. There are countless stories of startup founders grinding for years before their business achieves success. But there’s one important element missing from the story.
Dr. Angela Duckworth has made a career out of research into grit. She defines it as, “Perseverance and passion for long-term goals.” Understanding what grit truly is—perseverance and passion—is the first step to seeing how it connects (or doesn’t) to happiness.
I didn’t want to learn to fly at first. I was more afraid of flying than anything. But, once I started, I found it exciting. I wanted to achieve it because it was a challenge (and later to prove the naysayers wrong). I had found a passion for flying I never knew I had.
It was a good thing I found that passion—because without it, those six months stretching into three years, across three states, instructors, and airplanes, would’ve been nothing but exhausting. Passion turned perseverance into purpose—and that’s where happiness took flight.
In movies, the “happily ever after” arrives once the hero overcomes every challenge—as if happiness is guaranteed at the finish line. We all know that’s just as fictitious as the rest of the movie.
Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor and leading researcher on happiness, found that joy isn’t a destination we reach after hard work—it’s something we cultivate through purpose, progress, and meaningful connection. He realized that the happiness we feel at the end of grit is fleeting. It’s finding happiness along the way that can be lasting.
As I learned how to fly, it started with proving that I could. But somewhere along the way, I realized that persevering through the challenges was practicing what I preached on stage. I challenged audiences to face their fears. This was me facing my fears to overcome them. I began to connect with the aviation community, and every flight lesson was a step forward on the journey. After every lesson, there was an unbeatable smile on my face and it felt like I was still in the clouds.
Brooks explains that lasting happiness comes when we pursue goals that align with our values—not just because they’re hard, but because they matter. Learning to fly had begun to matter. Not just for my career as a professional speaker, but it started to matter to me. I wanted to finish because it was important to me, not to anyone else. I was learning firsthand how grit and happiness fuel each other, not as cause and effect, but as partners in purpose.
Without that purpose, all my perseverance could have easily turned into exhaustion. And when purpose is missing, that’s a trap many of us fall into.
We’ve all heard stories of people who “made it”—only to feel empty once they got there. It’s a crushing feeling. All that hard work can shower you with accolades and praise, but if your heart wasn’t in it, you’re left wondering if it was worth it.
At work, we’re promised more pay or a promotion when it comes time to grind. The unspoken promise is that those things will make us happy. Every job requires that grit at some point. Many careers demand it for a few years. Without the right purpose, connection, and progress, grit and happiness drift apart—and that’s when burnout takes over. Without happiness fueling the journey, even the strongest grit will eventually stall.
If I had kept flying just to prove something to others, I know I would have burned out before ever earning my license. Even buckling my seatbelt was a challenge (try bringing your foot to your hip joint). But I could push harder on my goal of flying when the purpose came from inside me.
Consider your own goals. Are you grinding forward on the brink of burnout because it matters to you—or just because you feel you have to finish?
The good news? Burnout isn’t inevitable—when you align grit with purpose, happiness becomes part of the journey, not just the destination.
Reading the works of Dr. Duckworth and Professor Brooks, I see a very simple formula emerge:
Grit + Purpose + Progress = Fulfillment
When I delivered my first speech, I didn’t really know “why” I was doing it. It was something to do, and I knew at some point I could get paid to do it. According to what everyone says, getting paid should have been enough—I could do other things to find fulfillment in my free time.
People came up to me after speeches sharing how they saw life with a new perspective. I began to see that a speech wasn’t just talking about myself, it was showing people how to Think Outside the Shoe™. They could see the barriers they set for themselves or allowed others to place upon them. It became my mission to pull back the curtain so they could see their true potential. When the grind set in of growing as a professional speaker, that purpose sustained me and kept me from burning out.
When your “why” is clear, grit doesn’t drain you—your grit combined with purpose will see you through.
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